１２月２４日（December 24）

三十年振りに父に会う。

昨夜、
父方の叔父より
彼が倒れて救急搬送されたという知らせ。

逝く前に顔くらいは見せておこうと思い
辿り着いた病室で、
何故なのかも、
その意味も解らないのだが
涙が止まらない。

見た事の無い老人が、
酸素マスクの下で息を荒げている。
看護師さんのかけた大きな声に
閉ざされていた瞼が開く。

眼が合ったはずだが、
涙でぼやけて像結ばず。
言葉が見つからない。

病人でも老人でも無い様な
強い唸り声を、間をおいて二回聞く。

その後、再度、
瞼は閉じられた。

涙が止まらぬと病室を出る事が出来ないので
一時間程、彼の傍に居た。
外れる酸素マスクを七回程、付け直しながら。

最後に

「さようなら。
　いずれ、もう一度御会いしましょう。
　まだ理由を伺わせて貰ってないので。」

と、言葉にせずに伝えておく。

病院を出ると雪が降りそうな空。

セイントさんよ。
教えてくれないか。
これはクリスマスプレゼントなのか？

 

 

It is 30 years since I last met my father.

Last night,
From an uncle of the father's side
I heard he fell down, was emergency conveyed.
 
I intend to show my face it before he dies.
In the sickroom where I arrived at,
I don't understand the meaning,For some reason also.
I can't stop tears.

An old man without having looked raises breath under an oxygen mask.
His shutting eyelids wore open by the loud voice that a nurse.

Eyes should have fitted,
I become dim with tears, my focus can't be match.
I can't find the words.

I heard the strong groan twice with pause
that don't seem to be even a sick person or an old man.
 
after that his eyelids were closed again.

I was near him for about one hour
because I could not leave the sickroom when tears did not stop.
While attaching approximately seven times
of oxygen masks coming off again.

At last,

"Good bye.
 Let's meet once again sometime soon.
 Because I do not yet ask about the reason."

I told him without making words.

It was the sky where it seemed to snow when I left the hospital.

Mr Saint.
Will you tell me?
Is this a Christmas present?